I never really learned how to love
When I was growing up, my father was really absent for my day to day life and my mother and I still have a strained relationship. My sister and I were pretty much left without a sense of what it felt like to love or be loved.
As I went through grade school, I thought I knew what love would be when I found it, and I went looking for girl after girl to fill the gap that was in my heart. I struggled with depression for years.
What changed everything for me was a continual growth in my Catholic Faith through prayer and sacrifice during my Sophomore and Junior years of college. While I still made some grave errors, I moved closer and closer to a full surrender to the will of the Lord, which gave me control over the bad in my life because I knew I had a divine guide and protector. I learned love through coming to know the sacrifice and suffering that Jesus experienced, proving that God really loves us. He was a loving parent for me that I didn’t necesarily have growing up.
I’ve now changed so much from what I was that I am now able to have a loving relationship and achieve things through love that I never thought possible. I urge you, even if you have perfectly loving parents, to come to know the love of God through your own prayer and sacrifice. Give up your life for Him and He will give you something better.